Bogey is on the house!

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Star Wars Episode III: The Return of Da King
http://www.flickr.com/photos/manong_guard/16374455/

Junior Kilat is on the House
http://www.flickr.com/photos/manong_guard/16384624/


However.
Sa ulo ng mga balita...
(Frontlines, sabi ni Papa Tarun.)

Palpatine, Patay
May 25, 2005

VILLA BEATRIZ, QUEZON CITY -- Palpatine, Supreme Ruler of the tyrannical Galactic Empire, and, as Darth Sidious, acknowledged masterof Dark-side lightning, is found dead here late this evening.

Preliminary investigation by Matandang Balara Barangay Tanods #2 and#4 yielded the apparent cause of death as severe physical bogbog dueto extreme balibag by khuu khuu Darth Vader.
--

Bata, Pinaiyak Ni Bush (from wonkette.com)
May 26, 2005

UNITED STATES, QUEZON CITY -- President "W." Bush bored Brittany Fishto tears Wednesday, prompting the "leader" of the "free world" kuno to apologize to the little girl for being so dull.

Apparently, Bush launched into a long-winded speech about thesignificance of the Oval Office. Brittany got antsy, complained shewas bored, then started to cry.
--

Japanese Contingency, Buhay Na Buhay
May 27, 2005

JAPANESE, QUEZON CITY -- With the arrival of new Geisha mail, theso-called Japanese contingency has staged a mighty return of the comeback to the Hall of Fame.

Led by Japanese Almar Bogli, the Japanese contingency (J. Mando Mitz, J. Tuks Filipinose, J. Alex Geisha) makes its triumphant presence felt this issue, posing a serious threat to the world dominance ofVillanuyba power.

And now.


1. memories - all alone in the moonlight (or, alternatively, What partof IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT did you not understand? Pasintabi kay Rushdie.)

O, love's brutal aftermath!

The air pregnant with a promise,
Was ever my welcome burden;
Alas, in its stead, this dark abyss,
Oppresses me no end.

But wait!

The memory of you i shall imprison,
In dark, dank dungeons;
See me throw away the key,
See me walk silently away.

Ye gods, take me out of here!

Fly me to the rim of space,
The moon's not far enough;
Let me soar on dappled wings,
Away from all rememberings.

May nakasabay kaming happy and gay people sa bangka pauwi galing Pee Jay as in Gott.
HAGPerson #1: Aaay.. Iiiwan na natin memories natin...

2. immoral - walang-kamatayan
Presenting.. the exciting happy and gay word game.
HAGP #1: Clue: Eternal.
HAGP #2: Long-lasting!
HAGP #3: Umm.. Ummm...
Yoli: (Tulog kunyari, pero nakikinig. Umaasang may HOF uli.)
HAGP #4: Immoral!
HAGP #1: Hahahaha! Immortal! Nakakahiya ka..
HAGP #4: Hay naku, cannot be!
Yoli: (Nakangiti.) Ooy, narinig mo yun?? Isali mo yun ha!

3. lindol - thunder thunder thunder Thundercats!
Sabi ni Unats inaway daw nya si Lord:
"Dinagundungan ako ng lindol Brod!"

4. Batangas - what's better than Batangas is! Batangas!
The Yoli-Unats sweet nothings.
Unats: Masakit daw ngipin ni Dong pero pagdating sa Sabang, lamon agad.
Yoli: Sabang..?
Unats: O, di ba dumaan tayo ng Sabang port? ...Ay! Anong tawag mo sa Batangas?
Yoli: Batangas.

5. strike - stroke
Tinuturuan ni Onats si Yoli lumangoy, backstroke:
"Para madali muna, 3-strike muna. Ay, strokes pala."
Nahabol nya, kaya magaling.
Pero.
Walang patawad si Yoli.

6. manic-depressant - a manic-depressive illness or "bipolar mood disorder" is a disturbance of a person's mood characterized by alternating periods of depression and mania
The Yoli-Unats sweet nothings, take two.
Onats: Ba't malungkot ka kanina?
Yoli: Nats, manic-depressant lang ako kanina..
Onats: Ah, parang obsessive-compulsant?!
Yoli: Oy, wag mo nang sabihin kay Melo.

7. I'm the kingdom of the world! - ang pinakasikat na linya niLeonardo di Caprio (Do you concur Doctor Aray lang tatalo dito)
Laguna. Nakatuntong si Yoli sa balcony. Feel na feel nya ang papel ni Jack of the Titanic:
"I'm the kingdom of the world!!"

8. Oh my bags are packed, i'm leaving on a jet plane
Tinuturuan ni Onats si Kuku mag-gitara.
Onats: Sige Kuku ilagay mo sa G.. tapos C.. tapos G ulit.. Ulit-ulitinmo lang yan, kakanta ako.
Kuku: (Guitaring.)
Alipio: I would like to thanks.. Awayan for the great spaghetti cooking. Kuku, happy birthday!Onats: Sige G.. Oh.. Oh.. (Nasa moment si Onats..) Oh.. Oh.. Oh my bags are packed, i'm ready to go...

9. eroplano - isang higanteng gamo-gamo
May eroplano duon sa malayo.
Rainier: Ano kaya yun, la-landing o ti-takeoff?
Tin: Alin, yung gamo-gamo?

10. hopia - contrary to popular Chinese belief, hopia is very muchrelated to the arts
Nasa Libis ang Tinmobile. May poster ng Dunhill, yung tabako ginawang Mona Lisa.
Mitz: Wow, galing..
Dong: Work of art!
Tin: Shet, yung hopia ko naiwan!

11. clap - the most tuneful of all musicalities
Junior Kilat on the house! Si Dong Onats Yoli pumapalakpak sabay sa reggae music.
Dong: (Papagalitan si Onats.) Wala ka naman sa tono eh!

12. phone - camera, as in, What's better than an ordinary phone is! a phone with a built-in phone!
Napapag-usapan ang cellphone pics.
Totz: Yung telepono ba ni Yonyon may phone??

13. deep penetration eyesight - the more and more powerful Mitz
Proof. Woman is constantly evolving.
Mitz: Bakit ganun, nakikita ko ugat ko?!
Rainier: Gegegege.

14. off - sarado
Napapag-usapan ang directions papuntang Salo Bar Junior Kilat on the house.
Yoli: Di ko nga napansin yung Metropole eh.
Melo: Ungaeh, off na kasi.
Yoli Alipio: Ahahaha, off daw!
Melo: Yung ilaw!

15. binabalahan kita - literally, "Did it i am warning you.."
Ayaw akong tantanan ng Villanuyba-Garcia tandem.
Melo: Yung ilaw.. Naka-off na kasi yung ilaw.
Yoli Alipio: Wala, isama mo yan!
Melo: Hindi nga, ilaw talaga ang tinutukoy ko. Kasi bumili ako ng yosi sa labas, nakita ko off na yung ilaw ng Metropole.
Yoli: Huu, nagpapalusot ka pa..
Mitz: Isama mo yan, binabalahan kita..

16. Bogey - isang klaseng inumin na madalas pinamimigay nang libre sa Japan
First time ni Almar Bogli pumunta sa House of Geisha.
Almar: Bogey is on the house!
Lahat: Waaahh!! Ay potah!! Kakarating lang, bumanat agad! Wahahahahaha!

17. gamot na gamot - well-used
Tsugi ang PC ni Almar.
Mando: Ay walanghiyang PC yan. Ang pangit ng itsura niyang lumang IBM mo Brob.. Jurassic PC!
Bogey: Ok lang yan Brob. Ganyan itsura niyan kasi gamot na gamot ko yan...
Alex at Tuks: Lalaban! Gusto labanan ang mga Villanuyba! Gegegegegege!

18. Japanese - ang Land of the Rising Sun
Putangyawa, rumaragasa si Bogli! Lalaban sa Villanuyba power!
Nagkukwento si Almar sa kanyang first week experience sa Japan.
Bogey: Ang pinakagusto ko dito sa Japanese... (Napatigil.)
Lahat: Bwahahahahahahah!!! Huuuuu!!! Japanese daw!!!
Bogey: (Babali.) ...Sa Japanese university... di pa ko tapos Brod... Gegege...

19. carTONS - animated to the max
Ini-iscan ni Bogey ang 0.6 Terabyte-rapsa-download-borg-PC sa House of Geisha.
Bogey: Nasaan yung mga "documentaries" Brob? Panay Transformers (TM) nakikita ko.. Puro naman car-TONs!
Tuks: Ay potang car-TONs daw! Gegege..
Bogey: Gegegege... Parang carTONs na kabayo.. Gegege.

20. amphidextrous - kayang paligayahin ang sarili (plus angkapitbahay) gamit ang kaliwa at kanang kamay
Alex: Paano spelling ng ambidextrous Brob?
Mando: A..m..b..i..d..e..x..t..r..o..u...s.
Alex: Nyek... Kala ko a..m..p..h..i..
Mando: Gegegege... Kabit ka ngayon kay Melo...
Alex: Kaya nga nagtatanong eh... Gegegege.
*Diba? diba? Nagtanong naman ako diba?*
Ungaeh.

21. strike - sa bilyar, ang dating scratch
Sa bilyaran. si Mando, pumoporma mag-shoot ng bola. Biglang pagka-shoot ay pumasok ang cue ball.
Mando: Ay syet, strike!

22. canode - the most hermaphroditic electrode of them all
Isang yugto mula sa The B-----g S-i--t--t- (AWYN).
Alex: Dapat yung negative na High Voltage dun dapat nakakabit sa gas inlet port.
Mando: Ahh... Bale yun yung canode?
Alex: Aano? (Sa sarili.) Tang'na.. Paano ka babali ngayon.. Hehehe.
Mando: Cathode Brob...
Alex: Bwahahahaha... Canode sabi mo... Ano yun? Cathode and anode? Nyahahahah... Melo!!! Huu!!!
Mando: Bingi! Gegegegee..

23. thumbtacks - tulad ng gamu-gamo, ang thumbtacks ay may higanteng uri rin
Malapit sa Kansai airport, may mga hindi maintindihang malalaking bagay si Tuks at Alex. Nagtanong sila kay all-knowing Kooya...
Tuks: Brob, ano yung mga parang malalaking jackstone na nasa ilalim nung bridge?
Mando: Yan yung kung tawagin ay breakwater Brob.. Para kung lumakasyung alon na tumama sa kanya, ibi-break niya yung force nung alon.
Tuks at Alex: (Isa sa kanila lalung na-inlab kay Kooya.) Aahhhh.. Oo nga! Husay! Piktyuran mo Brob!
Mando: Ang alin? Yung mga higanteng thumbtacks?
Tuks at Alex: Ay potah. Magaling ka na kanina eh.. Gegegege.
(Oo nga't nagkamali, pero ganumpaman! Isa sa kanila ay inlab pa rin kay Kooya.)

24. terrabyte - also TB, Tbyte and T-byte. One trillion bytes (marami ito).
Kino-compose ni Alex ang mga isusumbong kay Melo para sa FHM (Hall of Fame).
Alex: Brob, ano spelling ng terabyte? Single or double R?
Mando: Double Brob..
Alex: Urayts, may dadagdag na naman ako.. Gegege.. Pambawi sa ambidextrous.. Gegegege.

25. propanda - A specific type of message presentation aimed at serving an agenda. At its root, the denotation of propanda is 'to propagate a philosophy or point of view'.
OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE mula kay Tuks:
"Bale unahan ko na ano.... pinagbigyan namin ni Almar si Kuya at Alex sa Fract Night dahil nakakahiya naman.. Host at hostess namin sila. Sobra na kasi gulpi na sila sa bilyar eh pati ba naman sa fract Batch ano?
P.S.
Huwag maniniwala sa anumang i-eemail ni Alex. Propanda lang yun."

26. bunkok - mount, mountain, sometimes hill, sabi ni Alipio nung binyag ni Turing
Lord, kailan kaya uli ang Let the Games Begin??
Almar: Di nakapag-expand si loko dahil under siege lagi ang mga secondary bases nya kahit nasa bunkok pa. Hehehe..
Tutz: Bunkok? Yan ba yung capital ng Taylan?
Unga! Bunkok Jukarta Numpen!

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Call me Yoda. Backwards I speak. Upside down I think. Inside out can I turn you hmmm. Strong with you think you the Force is hrmm? Just walking think you my ability is hrmm?? For 800 years have i taught Jedi! Strongest in me the Force moves! ALL YOUR FAULT IT IS!

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